The Cheating Curve.

"Sexting. Meeting. Kissing. Shagging." I announced, no doubt sloshing Pinot over the rim of my wine glass.
"Kissing. Sleeping with." Emma stated.
"Having an emotional connection with." Gemma said.
"Facebook." Izzy piped up with.

Immediately about to ask Izzy what the hell she was going on about as we discussed what we each constituted as cheating, I stopped to consider the fact that over the past four days I'd had several "pokes" on Facebook from an ex that had been more of a brief kiss-and-run than an actual boyfriend but who currently had a girlfriend of his own. Unsurprisingly I managed to resist the urge to "poke" him back but when I later received a private inbox message asking me how I was (flirty winking face attached) I briefly considered replying with "Im great thank you, why don't you ask your girlfriend how she is?" before swallowing the comment down, hitting the delete button and sending the message off into internet oblivion.

After that little blast from the past and thinking about how many women I know have had a sneaky look through their boyfriend's text message inbox I wondered whether the new wave of social networking, fueled by the ease of checking Facebook and Twitter constantly through Iphones and Blackberrys' was making it easier for us to cheat?
It may only be a Facebook poke after all but if you're thinking of literally "poking" someone else instead of your girlfriend/boyfriend then that spells trouble ahead.

Note I have made careful use of the words Boyfriend AND Girlfriend because, trying to appeal against stereotypes, lets not forget that men are often the ones chastised for cheating but it's my belief that women are just as bad. We all make mistakes after all.
A point proved when, a few years ago, Jenny* turned up on my doorstep in the night before's clothes, mascara stains down to her chin and definate post-sex hair. Needless to say Jenny had made the mistake of falling back into bed with her ex when she had a new boyfriend, bad Jenny. But, despite her mistake Jenny was, and still is, one of the nicest girls I know and quickly fessed up to her boyfriend, who dumped her, as she deserved (her words not mine!) but by doing it Jenny did realise something, she wasn't ready for another relationship so soon after the ex.
There are plenty of relationships out there that I'm sure have survived 'Cheating Flu' because, simply, sometimes you have to fuck up to realise what you want, like Jenny. I'm not saying this makes cheating right, it's sad and painful but sometimes necessary?

I've been lucky in my relationships to have never been cheated on (at least that I am aware of), nor have I ever cheated myself, mostly because I fear that chances of me being caught are highly likely due to a conscience that won't even allow me to recycle a tin can without rinsing it out first. However, that hasn't stopped me Facebook stalking pretty girls that have written seemingly innocent messages on my ex's Facebook walls. If you're currently exclaiming that you don't do that you're lying and you know it!
And it hasn't stopped me from being the subject of intense questioning by Tom* when an innocent picture of a friend's Brother and I appeared on Facebook, immediately recieving a text from him that read, "That guy in that photo better be gay." I proceeded to sit through a two hour long argument about who he was, why we were out together in a club (No mention from Tom of the other eight people who were also out with us that night and in the photos too) and accusations that the smile on my face in the photo was "too suggestive." Needless to say I almost found myself wishing I had slept with Jack* just so that what I was being accused of was actually true.
I had no problem with him going through my message inbox on my phone because I knew he'd never find anything suspicious simply because there was nothing to find but he seemed to love winding me up just incase I had something to confess.

If I had a pair of Louboutins for everytime I've had a conversation with friends who've "seen" something on Facebook or "heard" something or seen a dodgy looking picture I would have a pair for every day of the month and a pair to sleep in (Please God, let the Facebook conversations keep coming hehe). It must cause arguments every night of the week in homes everywhere but we still insist upon checking it at least once a day.

With technology seemingly making us either paranoid or tempted to send that flirty message are we so caught up in analysing that photo of the office temp draped over our man at the work Christmas party in 2008 that we haven't actually told him we love him lately? It's heartbreaking when people cheat and it hurts like hell for a very long time but stop Facebook stalking and jumping everytime he gets a text, close the laptop lid, wave bye-bye to the paranoia and show each other all the reasons you have to not need anyone else but each other.